Jackie Green and her daughter Lauren Green McAfee know a thing or two about legacies. Green’s husband, Steve, is the President of Hobby Lobby, a multi-billion dollar arts & crafts store, and she is also the co-founder of Museum of the Bible. That makes McAfee the granddaughter of David Green the founder or Hobby Lobby and she also serves as their Corporate Ambassador. But this mother-daughter duo isn’t focusing on financial legacy to leave but rather an eternal legacy with a new book they wrote together titled, Only One Life: How a Woman’s Every Day Shapes an Eternal Legacy. Family Entourage caught up with them to talk about vulnerability, missed expectations, battling busyness in our lives and more.
Family Entourage: Time is such an important currency and people often misjudge how valuable it is. We love how you two wrote about business and how its often an enemy of legacy. It’s so easy in this day and age, especially with school, our career, family activities, television and of course the biggest culprit, our smartphones. So, how can women be intentional with their business, or maybe try and combat some of that altogether?
Lauren Green McAfee: I don’t think that we will ever have it all perfectly balanced, but it takes a lot of effort to be intentional with our time and more today, than in generations past, because of, like you said, smartphones and the distractions with constant communication, access, and social media. I think it is different for each of us. We each have to take inventory of where our capacities are and where God is calling us in life. Where should we be making sacrifices of some things that are good in order to do other things that are best? That’s the constant battle of choosing to say no to some things because it means we are saying yes to better things. It is easier said than done, but that is honoring the time that God has given us and being willing to follow the things that He has for us to be investing in.
Jackie Green: I think another aspect, like Lauren mentioned, we each struggle with the busyness of life and I would encourage women to keep revisiting what your legacy plan is: what you feel inspired and motivated to do. You’re not going to get it right the first time, we’re not getting it right every day either. It’s just to have that in front of us to remind us that what we do everyday matters in shaping an eternal legacy. To be aware and be intentional and attentive to the needs around us and the opportunities around us. To be encouraged that other women that really impacted our life and the world, they didn’t feel prepared either, but they walked in faith. We hope that women will feel a little more empowered to do something, to get started with something and to keep circling around to be intentional with the opportunities that they have every day.
LM: And, women having impact doesn’t look one way, in the sense that the world might determine what the impact is. For the mom that’s at home investing every minute into that child, changing diapers and doing laundry, her intention at home has incredible legacy impact. As well as the woman in the workplace that maybe doesn’t have children, but wants that, but is doing her best to work with all her might with the job that is set before her. The women that are anywhere in between or any other job, the point is it’s not the definition of how the world defines impacts, but rather it a deeper sense of understanding God has a plan, so how can we be intentional to walk faithfully in that plan where we are at now. That looks different in different seasons. We’ll have different seasons, where there are days that are more frustrating than others and feel like we are being less impactful in others. Be faithful in all the seasons and that’s what we hope comes across.
FE: Lauren, we love that you touched on the idea of world expectations and what it should look like, because we feel, another big legacy robber, if you will, is expectations. Even looking at your family, in the book you mention David Green, your grandfather, founder of Hobby Lobby, was the only one out of his six siblings that didn’t go into full time ministry. I’m sure an expectation he didn’t take lightly. Jackie, your first child was born at 20 and the last of your 6 kids born at 40 years old, very different than the expectation you held for yourself of climbing the corporate ladder and taking leisure vacations. And, Lauren, you married young and are pursuing your Ph.D. but have been very open about your struggle with infertility and trying to adopt as well, but both circumstances go against the expectations you held as you turned 30. So what do we do with missed expectations? How can as women better manage expectations or turn them over to the Lord and invite His will for our lives?
JG: Faith is a muscle that you have to exercise. Whatever comes at us in life, and as you mentioned, our lives are not looking exactly like what we thought they would look like or planned for. I like to have a plan and I feel like I have to just draw on faith and trust in God that He had the perfect plan for my life and I was going to do my best to execute what He gave me each and every day. Which is the scriptural aspect to be intentional with the little things and trust God is leading me down this faith path and I’m not going alone. He is ultimately guiding me. I think on that when I’m stuck.
LM: With expectations, all of us have expectations that will not be met in our life. I just always encourage people, it’s okay to grieve the loss of the expectations that you had, because those are hopes and dreams that you had that are not being fulfilled. It’s okay to grieve the loss of that and not just trying to stick a Bible verse on it and say, “Oh, I’ll just trust God, He’s got the plan.” Which is true, but also, we still have those feelings of loss and grieving that we need to be okay with sitting in and allowing God to heal us. Then I found it is just so helpful to have perspective. Perspective of just how big God is.
Knowing that He is sovereign over time. He is in control of my life and He knows what the final outcome of my journey is. He has a plan and He plans to work through my life if I give it over to him and faithfully walk in the path that He has for me. Knowing that we have a good God, that we can trust, and knowing who God is, also helps with me with trusting Him daily in the plan He has for my life, even if I don’t understand it in the current moment.
FE: Perspective is so important. With your family, I’m sure many think, what kind of problems and what kind of missed expectations could they have because they have this incredible legacy that’s being left and they all seem to love each other and get along. They even fought the supreme court and won. They’ve got this pixie dust on them — which we all know is the Lord and a testament to your prayer lives and the way you diligently evaluate every decision that’s made within the circle of your family. We applaud you for allowing the public to see the process you went through. With David’s book as well, the idea of the relationship with money and what that looks like and how that can change the way that someone views their situations. Whether they have very little or a lot, just remembering that the Lord is the provider of all of it and we are stewarding what he gives us, so we appreciate that about you two.
JG: We are just regular people. We try to draw on that. David grew up in a home where they had very little. I would venture to say it was poverty. They didn’t always have food or essential basics that we all need. Out of that, he drew on his faith. I struggle with an auto immune disease and you know, things happen. Lauren has been vulnerable about her infertility in marriage, that she and Michael dealt with. I think we’ve really tried to show that we are vulnerable, we don’t have the perfect life either. We’re still working on our legacy goals though and I think that’s something we all need to work on. We have health goals, financial goals, but we are working on our legacy goals. What does that look like for us? Each individual needs to figure that out where they are, with God’s help, and asking direction. It’s so easy to just get started. Once you get started and heading down that path, it gets easier. We hope to motivate women to start with something, figure out what your legacy goals are. It’s not going to look perfect, it’s not going to look like these thirty-six women we used in the book, Only One Life, it’s not going to look like our life, but just get started with what’s right for your life.
FE: Since we are talking about legacy, and we have the both of you here, Lauren. What are a few things that are present in your life today that you can see are a direct correlation from your mom and the example that she has set, and maybe an example of wisdom that she has passed down that you are practically applying in your life today.
LM: A love for scripture and a love for family are definitely values that I feel like I inherited from my mom. We constantly had the Bible as the center of our home. I remember memorizing scripture together with my mom and my siblings during the day when we were home schooled and grew up together. That was an authentic belief and faith in the Bible too. That was not just something that my parents said was important, but they lived it out too. They lived and breathed what the scripture taught. That’s an incredible legacy that I am so blessed to have from my mother and I hope to pass that on one day.
FE: Jackie, in turn, raising six kids with different personalities, keeping them unique but instilling core values. How accomplish this?
JG: It’s a big long answer. I want to make sure that I get down to the core of it. To start with your core values and to not only teach them that by words, but with your deeds and your actions. I think that is something from when they are very young we start instilling these values, these core values in each child. You mentioned the different personalities, that is a very real challenge when you have a lot of people. There are eight of us, my husband and I, there are six kids, working in a family to negotiate, navigate, all of that, and what that looks like for each individual, because they are not cookie-cutter kids. They are individuals. They have different strengths and weakness’, as do my husband and I.
You just come back to the core values, and the scripture, having that instilled in their hearts and in their lives and in their minds and in ours, first you have to start with us. Its just, that’s the core of it. It becomes a routine, that’s what we do. It becomes something that, hopefully they will adopt and embrace in their own lives as they grow to be adults and responsible. We have seen that in our children. We are very blessed to see that they have drawn upon that scripture and their faith to be who they are. You can only do your best, then the rest is up to them as individuals.
Jackie and Lauren’s book Only One Life: How a Woman’s Every Day Shapes an Eternal Legacy is available June 5.
